After All This Time
by RemixtheBox
Summary: While it is the duty of the personification to represent their country to the best of their ability, they can still act as a separate being and make their own choices. For two sworn enemies, this is a difficult lesson to learn. But after a fateful request, the line between human and country will be forever blurred.


_Hi everyone!. This is a RusAme story and it is lemonade flavored, so reader beware! This is my first fanfic, so any constructed criticism is welcome. Kind reviews would really help my self-confidence and feed my muse. ~Remix_

 _DISCLAIMER: Is there any episode like this in Hetalia? No? Well, I must not own it then._

After all we had been through, he was asking me this. After all the fights and the curses and abuse, he was asking me this. After all the destroyed property stained in blood and competition and bitter rivalry, he was asking me this. After all of the times I had wanted to say I was sorry and the sleepless nights and the threads holding my fragile heart together finally coming undone, he was asking me this.

"May I come in?"

Four words, nothing more. Four words varying in length from one to four letters. Four words and one question mark.

But those four words were bigger then themselves. They represented respect and friendship. Two things we have not shared for a very long time. This also represented a dangerous step in the uncharted direction we have been trying avoid since the beginning of our feud. It was an invitation to give in to the temptation of the other, to finally fill the void we have been stuffing with hatred and ice. These words were full with possibility and sin.

He had to know this. Being as smart as he was, he had to know this.

I made eye contact, raising a questioning brow, "You want to come in?"

The tall nation smiled and laughed, making my stomach turn in disgust and explode into giddy butterflies at the same time. "Yes I do," he stated politely, swaying closer to the entrance.

"Are you sure?" My heartbeat sped up.

He leaned forward; close enough for me to feel his sinful breath ghost over my face, "I am positive."

I contemplated slamming the door in his face. He saw this and stepped forward, placing his foot in the doorframe in case I tried. It was subtle hint, saying that no was not the correct answer.

I shifted back, not wanting to be so close. Was he wearing my favorite cologne? He must have worn it on purpose, knowing him. He took my hesitant step as an invitation into my house.

Closing the door and locking it, I tried to turn around and ask what he wanted when he slammed me against the wall.

"You are no longer dating Arthur?" He asked, his voice shaking with every word.

I almost did not want to answer. If I answered truthfully, we would fall off the edge we have been dancing on for so long. But he had to remember why we couldn't. We would be cast aside and resented by all other nations, and that was excluding the fact that our bosses would rather die than see us in such an intimate situation.

I took a deep breath, "No, we are not."

"Why are you not together?"

I felt his hand reach my neck, "I do not love him."

He chuckled, leaning in by my ear, "It was because of me, wasn't it? You could not keep me from plaguing your thoughts while you were with him."

I growled, "Don't give yourself too much credit you self-righteous communist."

His grip on my throat tightened, "You know what speaking like that does to me."

I did know. All throughout the Cold War, the jabs and insults had been a way of arousing the other, crawling under their skin and poisoning their mind. We had done it so we could still be close to the other without revealing our affections. Revealing that the hate we felt was a sick game to cover the sweet intentions of our hearts.

We were so close, physically and emotionally. I knew him better than our lord above did, and he knew every nook and cranny of my dysfunctional mind. Soul mates, I guess you could call us, but we had to behave as if we were born to despise our other half.

That is what made this so hard. Resisting the temptation to make the other ours. To claim what should be ours in the first place. That is why the deal was that I would occupy myself with Arthur so I could avoid him. But he was right; I could not even kiss him without feeling repulsed or imagining the frozen lips of Ivan.

I looked up at my sworn nemesis, only to catch him staring at my mouth. I knew what he wanted and I wouldn't resist him if he did. However, someone has to be rational when it came to us and it was I (surprisingly) this time. I pushed him away, causing him to hit the opposite wall.

That began the battle. He knocked me to the floor, slamming my head on the ground. Stars danced across my vision, so I lashed out blindly. My fist collided with his jaw and he was taken aback enough for me to switch positions. Adrenaline rushed through my veins and my heart pulsed in my ears. Fighting with Russia was the best feeling I had ever known.

My victory did not last long, as he had elbowed me in the ribs, cracking a few. I yelped, and he took advantage of my weakness. He switched us just like that and his mouth met mine.

I whimpered pathetically. I didn't really care though. The last and only other time I had felt his kiss was back in World War 1 when we discovered our addiction to each other. Since that moment, we did not touch unless it was to cause harm.

Realizing that I was not responding, I began to kiss back furiously. I felt him smile in triumph against my mouth. The smug bastard stopped after I bit his bottom lip harshly.

"You are rude even when you are with a lover," He whispered, barely pulling away from my lips.

I growled at him, "You are not my lover."

"So you behave like a horny hot-mess with all of your adversaries?"

I pushed him onto his back and straddled him, "Of course not. You are just…" I tried to think of a way to describe it. But no words in any language could describe what we were. I loved him, yet I hated him just as much. I wanted him to die at my hands as intensely as I wanted him to writhe in pleasure from them.

He laughed at me, sending chills down my spine, "Lovers it is then." He threw me off and picked me up bridal style, "Let's go fix your ribs."

I blushed and pouted. How did he go from heartless to loving so quickly? "You are making a mistake."

"I doubt caring for my adorable capitalist is a mistake."

"Not that idiot. The whole getting into a relationsh- I am not adorable!" I hit his chest half-heartedly. If I was trying, I could probably make his breastbone capsize.

"Right," He set me on the edge of my bathtub. He knew my house well from all of the times he had broken in and fought with me.

He started breaking my ribs again. Sometimes my ability to heal as fast as I did was an issue. They had healed in the incorrect position and now Russia was trying to pop them into their rightful places. I winced and bit my lip. It hurt like hell, but he had definitely done worse before.

"All done. It might bruise, so don't do anything too reckless," He smiled at me.

I sneered at him, "Then get out of my house."

He smirked evilly at me, "That, I cannot do. I need to claim you before I go. How else will you understand you are mine?"

"Are you drunk!?" I yelled, standing up and walking around him, "We can't under any circumstances. It is strictly forbid-" He cut me off with a kiss.

"Alfred?"

I glared, "What?"

"Please stop talking," He kissed me again, trapping me between him and the sink. The temperature in the room rose considerably.

He shoved his tongue into my mouth, not having the decency to even ask for permission. While he was kissing me so roughly, he ran his fingers through my hair sweetly. The juxtaposition had my head spinning.

I didn't fight for dominance. My defeat was inevitable because he had this way of turning me into putty. Instead, I threaded my hands into his scarf. He hummed at this. Touching his scarf would have gotten anyone else killed. I was just that special to him.

He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him. We began moving to the bedroom at a feverish pace. Suddenly, I was thrown onto my bed and I winced because of my ribs.

"I apologize my sunflower. I will be gentle. This time."

"What makes you think there will be a next time?" I grabbed his coat and pulled him down to me.

He bit my neck and I cried out, "The insatiable lust in your eyes Fredka."

I faked a glare and started to take off his coat. I wanted to feel his cool skin against my scalding body.

"So impatient…" He mumbled. I hit him in the shoulder and removed his coat successfully. He got entirely onto the bed with me, littering my neck with kisses and bites, "Surprisingly passive…"

I was going to retort, but he found the sweet spot on my neck. I moaned out in pure pleasure and finally let go of any stray thoughts of doubt. I'll deal with the regret later.

I felt him fumble with my t-shirt and I sat up enough so he could remove it. Insecurity rushed through me as I remembered the ugly burn scar across my chest. To make matters worse, there was the scar from the civil war splitting my heart in half. I reach for blankets but his large hand stopped me. He stared at me, a loving expression spreading across his face.

"Beautiful…" he breathed out, before attacking my chest. I gasped as he took one of my nipples into his mouth, sucking gently. The other was soon being rubbed in-between his index finger and thumb.

He looked at my bruising ribs and started showering them with light kisses. I felt apologies being mumbled against my skin.

I looked down at him. He was being so sweet, so wonderful and caring. This couldn't happen and he knew it. "Hurt me," I ground out through my teeth.

He looked up and gave me a sad look, apologetic look, before he took his hand out of mine and raked scratches down stomach. I cried out in pain.

"As you wish, Capitalist," he snapped. His lips met mine with enough force to bruise. I returned with just as much vigor. I wasn't going to let him have all the fun.

I slammed him down onto the bed and straddled him. If he had really wanted me under him, he would have defended himself better. Now that the tables have turned, I have to remind him whom the superpower was.

I literally ripped his shirt off, the sound of the tearing fabric only arousing me further. The scarf had to go, but I didn't want Ivan to have a fit. I took it off and folded it neatly. After that was finished, I set it gently on the nightstand. Ivan gave a grateful grunt.

I leaned forward and kissed his scarred neck, making him squirm with pleasure. I had always thought that his neck would be his erogenous zone. Not wanting to seem too much like a lover, I dug my nails into the sensitive skin connecting his hip bone and abdominals. He growled, giving me a look of spite. I smirked down at him then continued to abuse his neck.

Feeling satisfied, I moved down his body, leaving hickeys wherever I could reach. He writhed in pleasure and arousal, silently guiding me to where he wanted me.

I made a rash decision. I pulled his pants off and tossed them off of the bed. I began kissing and licking his arousal through his underwear, making him thrash wildly. He groaned in frustration. I made eye contact with him and he gave me a bitter glare.

"Problem?" I ask sickly sweet.

He scoffed, "Of course not. Everything is wonderful." His smile took a sinister turn, "What could be better than having the strongest nation on earth pleasing me in the bedroom?"

I was offended by his taunt, and in my hesitance he grabbed my hair and brought my face up to his. We met in a clash of teeth and tongue, desperately trying to subdue the other. But the moment his hand started circling the small of my back, I melted. As I said, he had a way of reducing me to putty.

He clumsily discarded my pajama pants so we were both in undignified states. Sweat started to run down my body. When did it get so hot?

Russia reached for my face and removed my glasses. The world got blurry immediately. While I would never admit it, my vision was in a horrendous state, dancing on the edge of being legally blind. The only other person who knew this? Well, as the saying goes, "Keep your friends close but your enemies closer."

I felt him sit up, bringing me closer to him. I was sitting in his lap, looking very vulnerable, but I had lost the energy to care. I just wanted the man in front of me.

I ground our hips together, causing both of us to moan. After waiting for so long, we were finally going to be together in the way we had always wanted. I shivered in excitement and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, forgetting the rules. He enjoyed this and lightly stroked my thighs. In this moment, we weren't America and Russia, but Alfred and Ivan. I came to realize this, and allowed myself to be gentle and loving.

He nuzzled my neck and asked quietly, "Are you sure about this?" I gave him a nod. "Are you scared?" Another nod. "Good, because I am too."

I smiled and kissed him deeply, allowing him to lay me on the bed. He slipped our underwear off and I peeked down at his member. If I was scared before, I was terrified now. How was that even going to fit in me?

He sensed my fear and placed kisses on my face, "It's going to hurt."

"Very reassuring," I laugh nervously.

"But it will get better. I think."

"You think?"

He smiled shyly at me, "I have never done this before."

Although I knew this, I decided not to hurt his ego. "I would have never guessed."

"Liar," He giggled, kissing my forehead. "What do you want me to do?"

"Just go for it."

"What? I thought there was supposed to prep-"

"Just do as I say."

The Russia that only I knew, the sweet, caring, and cuddly Russia took the place of the confident bad ass that had walked into my apartment. This was what made me love him against my will. However, now was not the time. I rocked up against his body to get my point across.

He timidly lifted my hips, lining himself up. "Ready?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure because I can run out and get some-"

"I swear to motherfucking god just fuck me!" He blushed at my profanities, but slammed in roughly. Air was ripped from my lungs and my eyes teared up. Holy shit this was painful. Ivan was shaking in self control.

"Move," I nodded, wanting the pain to go away. He gave me a worried look, but followed my demands. The pain started to ease, and I began to enjoy myself. It was pleasant, but not like what France had described to me. Then I was seeing stars.

"There!" I cried out, clinging onto his shoulders. I heard him laugh cockily.

He pounded into me, gaining speed as he gained confidence. I rewarded him with moans bridging on screams. His impassioned groans only heightened my euphoria.

"Ivan…" I gasped out, "So… close…" Another cry of pleasure escaped me as he jack hammered into my prostate.

"Fredka…sunflower…" He held me close to him, making me bend in a normally impossible way. We kissed each other, losing ourselves in the feel of the other.

I came with a scream of his name, my already impaired vision going white. He moaned out some strangled, incoherent words before he came inside of me. We panted heavily, Ivan collapsing onto my chest. After a few moments, he pulled out of me and fell to my side. I turned to look at him and my heart fluttered when I seen him already staring at me. He gave a soft smile.

Regret and my better judgment hit me like a ton of bricks. What had I just done? Not only did I ruin everything I had worked so hard to build, but I had let Russia, the bane of my existence, dominate me. That was inexcusable. And what if the others found out? I tensed up. What if Obama found out? Even worse, what if Putin found out?

I was silent and numb the entire time Russia cleaned us up. I didn't flinch when he changed the bedding, nor when he tucked me in and lied beside me.

"Hey big guy?" I called to him, my voice cracking and shaking.

"Yes sunflower?"

"We are so going to hell."

He burst into a fit of laughter and I hit him in the back of the head. What was so funny?

"Fredka, we are fine. Nothing bad is going to happen."

I cuddled into him subconsciously, "How do you know that. Everyone will shun us because we betrayed our nations. This is high treason!"

"Not if they don't know. We could have done this a long time ago, as long as we were secretive. Please Alfred; do not make me give you up now that I have you."

I bit my lip. This was wrong and deceitful and extremely dangerous, but I was warming up to the idea of having a secret rendezvous with Russia. What harm could it possibly do? Besides, we had waited long enough, and if the others found out, what were they going to do? Tell their bosses to declare war because two nations decided they wanted to embrace the fact that they had emotions separate from their countries?

I twisted around and kissed Ivan on the lips. That should be all the answer he needed. I went back to comfortable cuddling position and he wrapped his arms around me. I hummed in delight and started to doze off. I swore I heard him mumble something that sounded like "I love you," but I shrugged it off and fell asleep.

 _I really hope you enjoyed this little story. The plot bunny was eating my brain cells throughout all of my finals. Anyway, carry on with your day. If you have any suggestions for later fics, I'll be happy to consider them. ~Remix_


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